Yesterday I was in a really pissy mood.
I was discontented. Moody. Irritable.
And mad. MAD
I was mad because there were three cars sitting outside my house, and only one of them was working.
I was mad because it was Saturday, and it was snowing a sort of freezing rainy snow and blowing a kind of freezing howly gale and my husband was bundled up in a coat and a hat and was underneath his daggy old civic trying to sort out an electrical problem. An electrical problem that had seen him driving home the night before with a crazily zig-zagging speedometer, and headlights that were alarmingly flashing on and off the whole 40 minute journey from College Park to Braddock Road (note to anyone on that stretch of road - no, the police haven't started using crappy unmarked 1996 civics - that was Andy flashing you.)
I was angry. Angry at the injustice of it. The utter unfairness.
Towards the end of the day, I think I was actually reveling in my own little fetid puddle of grievous self righteousness. I had been dealt a very bad hand. Of course I had every right to be angry.
The reason being, of course, that I didn't have a nice new car sitting in the driveway.
I was fed up with my falling apart van. The van that has no working windshield wipers. The van that is 14 years old. The van that has done many many thousands of miles and looks it.
I was fed up with Andy's falling apart Civic. The Civic that always needs work. Always.
Didn't we deserve a new car?
Didn't we need a new car?
It was only a lot later in the day, after I had emerged, somewhat bedraggled (and with the aid of a rather nice glass of merlot), from my puddle of self-righteous indignation, that I realised what had made the whole situation worse.
It was quite a revelation.
I blame the Winter Olympics.
Well, of course - not the Olympics themselves. But the televised coverage. What can you not escape when watching TV in this country?
And of course, Presidents Day is coming up.
And all the car companies are going MAD advertising all the deals on all the wonderful, sparkling, desirable brand spanking NEW cars.
I very rarely watch TV these days. I am more a Netflix/DVD person. So I was unprepared for the onslaught of it all.
I was a walking talking living breathing example of how advertising actually works.
And it works in a horrible way.
It makes you want what you cannot have
It makes you desire what cannot be yours.
It makes you envious of those who seem to have it already.
It makes you mad, sad and discontented.
Now I remember why I dislike commercials, and advertising in general, so very much.
And it reminded me of this.
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.
I shall continue to watch the Winter Olympics.I shall be making a concerted effort to ignore the commercials for those snazzy new cars, and attempt to live a contented life, free from envy, and with bones that are healthy, not rotting.
And all with the aid of my lovely family, my friends, my God and a few more glasses of merlot.