Monday, September 14, 2009

Booster Mum

A Booster Mum is someone who doesn't have enough to do. She used to have an executive job in the City, and left the house before dawn every morning, coffee in one hand, brief case in the other: power suit, F.M shoes and scraped back hair. She met her husband occasionally for dinner, sex and the odd prearranged weekend. One day she had a baby. Two days later she went back to work, leaving her newborn with the nanny.
She will probably have expressed her milk regularly throughout her working day; discreetly, so as not to shock her male co-workers.
Zombified but diligent to the last she will have given presentations, worked through lunch and one day even managed to get home in time for her husband to impregnate her with baby #2.
At this point in her life she will have given serious consideration to her future.
Option 1: return to work full time, leaving her babies in the care of her nanny. Option 2: return to work part time.
Option 3: put her career on temporary hold and stay at home with her growing family.
Option 1 was already turning sour with nanny making plans to return to her native South America. Option 2 would be a disaster ... all her male colleagues standing in the wings gleefully awaiting her downfall. So Booster Mum chooses option 3.
A few years later she adds a third child to her offspring, finds a part time nanny and, once her children are of school age applies herself to making her fellow parents feel worthless frumpy and lazy by being that officious, ultra organized mum who chairs as many parent run committees as she possibly can. She may no longer be wearing the power suits of her past life, but she takes the time and money to dress to impress the slovenly mums, making them ultra conscious of their baggy sweats, unkempt hair, and yesterdays mac and cheese stains on their faded college T-shirts.
She stands center stage at PTA meetings, hair highlighted to within an inch of its natural life, lipstick just the right shade of "Look at Me" red and, flashing her ingratiating smile, tells us mere mortals what a wonderful opportunity it is to serve the school by volunteering endless hours of our so called free time to be a treasurer, a vice president, a chaperon. They need people to organize tag day, hospitality, a car wash, scrips, publicity ... and on and on ....
And Booster Mum is there at every event. Her child is the one with the most merit points at the end of the year (because, as we know, parent involvement may not increase grade point average but it does produce the suck up kids who get the pin, the medal, the certificate and the "special mention".)
And where am I?
I am helping my kids with their homework, trying to entice them away from the TV, taking them to soccer practice, gymnastics, making dinner, chatting to my friends on facebook, walking the dogs, shopping, writing, painting, meeting friends, ENJOYING MY LIFE!
And my kids may not get that special mention. They may not be the one wearing the medal at the end of their Freshman year. But they are reasonably content.
The school may need the booster and all the money it can raise, but it doesn't need another Booster Mum.

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

Ummmmm, yeah. I agree.

Perhaps such women should take up knitting or other handwork.

Or babysit my kids.

Or something.

About Me

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I have been married to Andy since 1991, we have 4 daughters, 2 dogs, 2 cat, 4 rabbits (and various baby rabbits) and a hamster (not dead). We have lived in the U.S.A since 2000, and are citizens of the U.K. I miss many things about the U.K.(pubs, old buildings, red post boxes, church bells,narrow roads, a good joint of roast lamb with mint sauce, to name but a few) but I have grown to love the U.S.