Friday, January 30, 2009

Memories Are Made of This

Reading Kimberly's post reminded me what it was like. Those endless days of breastfeeding, changing dirty nappies, trying to sooth fractious babies with all manner of methods (singing, rocking, ignoring, nursing, burping,) and I was so tired. And there was no me time. And all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep.
But there are other memories.
Of rocking 2 year old Ellie in my arms, as I (heavily pregnant with Bethany) gazed down into her sleepy blue eyes, and as she gazed back at me and said "song me"
Of a pregnant me napping in my bed while baby Ellie napped in hers, and when she woke up after an hour, bringing her in with me where we would both drift off again for another hour, and when we woke, it would be dusk and we would whisper secrets to each other, and giggle as we heard Daddy's key in the door. What would he think? His two girls snuggling in bed at 6 in the evening!
Of walking Ellie to school, with Beth and Jess in the double buggy, and stopping off at the bakery on the way home, grabbing crumbly croissants to warm our frozen hands.
Of playing in the park, pushing children on swings, encouraging that first terrifying venture down the slide.
Of playing in the sunshine, pushing dolls in prams, that first perilous wobble on the bicycle, climbing trees, paddling barefoot in the creek,
Days when the TV didn't spew kids programmes out 24/7, when Teletubbies and Postman Pat were all that mattered. When a bath and story at bedtime and prayers and kisses and tickles and lights off at 7 was the routine.
Now nappies have been replaced with thongs
Postman Pat has moved aside for One Tree Hill (his little red van disappearing into the distance with a final "toot toot", his black and white cat mewling for the last time)
Bedtime routines now revolve around homework, and texting and facebook for the oldest, and the youngest just fits in where she can. She still gets her stories, she still gets her TV shows, but now they compete for popularity with video and computer games.
I still have two girls who enjoy climbing trees, who still ride their bikes like mad things, who still think the pool is a place to swim, not a place to get a tan and a male following.
But it's two down two to go. . .
I used to laugh and despair of people who told me "It'll all be gone just like that, so make the most of it" . When you are in the middle of it, it's a never ending struggle to survive, let alone enjoy the experience!
I love being a Mother. I love watching my girls grow and mature. It's all change, and I deal with it and learn from it, and as long as I have those memories of their first step, their first tooth, their first day at school I am okay. I can concentrate on looking forward to the good times ahead.

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

Even now I look at my baby and try, TRY, to remember what my 2 yo was like when he was tiny. It is hard to remember. Thank goodness for thousands of digital pictures!! And thanks for the reminder that days pass...

About Me

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I have been married to Andy since 1991, we have 4 daughters, 2 dogs, 2 cat, 4 rabbits (and various baby rabbits) and a hamster (not dead). We have lived in the U.S.A since 2000, and are citizens of the U.K. I miss many things about the U.K.(pubs, old buildings, red post boxes, church bells,narrow roads, a good joint of roast lamb with mint sauce, to name but a few) but I have grown to love the U.S.